I started out my adult life with a plan. It was perfect in every way. I had graduated college and was head over heels in love for the first time. He was still in college but as soon as he was done we would get married and live happily ever after. Well… we did marry after he graduated but sadly, happily ever after didn’t happen for us.
This isn’t a blog about what went wrong and trust me, there was plenty on both sides. This is about being blessed by 2nd chances and life’s new adventures. There are good days and downright horrendous, am I ever going to recover from these days? The answer is yes, you will. God is great and has your back!
A little about our life… I met a wonderful man about 2 years ago and am blessed by my 2nd chance. I made him chase me around a bit, quite a bit as a matter of fact. I love his patience and persistence. I was gun shy from round 1, if you know what I mean. He says that he knew that I was the one for him from the get-go. My sometimes cynical self needed some more time to figure it out. He makes me smile and laugh every day and thinks that my flawed self is beautiful, no matter what. He adds to my hard won happy and I to his.
Fast forward to July 2108, we married barefoot on the beach with just our immediate family. Now my tribe has expanded from 2 teenagers plus Nana to my Love, 7 kids combined, a daughter-in-law, a grandson and of course a Nana. No, everyone doesn’t live with us. We have primary custody for 2 boys, Big Guy and Raiden and 1 girl, Birdie- all teenagers plus live with a mostly patient Nana (God bless her, this isn’t what she signed up for!). Boo girl also a teenager lives primarily with her Mom. The remainder of the tribe come visit from time to time. Thankful that God had given our hearts infinite capacity for love and patience!!! Blended familes are wonderful, sometimes trying but always an adventure.
Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and I had such high hopes. It was my first married one with my Love. Again me with a plan, I really need to learn that God has a plan and I need to let go. (So you should know that I’ve always been a planner and a people pleaser. I want things to be perfect so everyone enjoys themselves. When truly most people really are happy to get together and just be. But I digress…)
The day starts out with beautiful flowers and the sweetest card. He melts my heart daily. There is never doubt of his love for me and not just on special days.
Then ex-spouse drama starts for the day. Praying for peace and them to let go of the small stuff. Does it really matter? I have to remind myself of this. It’s so easy to get sucked into the negativity. Will it really matter in 5 years? Throughout the day, escalation of drama. Only thing I can do is support my husband and pray, lots of praying. Leave work early to go to my Big Guy’s high school tennis match with a neighbor and her boy. Make sure Nana has my Birdie and my Love’s boy covered. My Love is trying to work as the crazy keeps climbing. He goes to pick up Boo girl and gets into a car accident. Thankfully he’s okay. God was watching out for him. The vehicle is a bit dinged up and he’s two hours late to pick her up. The former spouse was already causing problems but by this time police intervention is required to get Boo girl. (This is a first. Praying for cool heads on all parties.) Finally he arrives at home with her and she’s mad, not speaking, doesn’t want to be here. My Love is distraught.
Long story short, his former made promises of fun weekend to a moody, hormonal 13 year old struggling teenage girl without talking to him and he said no, since we have family plans out of town (my Dad’s Memorial service). He’s the bad guy for her not following the parenting plan that she committed to. She isn’t supposed to make plans on his weekend without asking him for permission first but it doesn’t always work this way.
Trying to end the day on a positive note for all, we gave treats and had ice cream. Boo girl declined. My heart is broken for her since she is being used as a pawn by her Mom (that’s all I will say on this topic, feel free to read between the lines).
Reminded me that the adventure isn’t always easy. I don’t know what God’s plan is for us but there is a lesson to be learned. Celebrate love every day especially on the hard days. And pray, pray hard.